Email from our "Fans"

On this page we will share some of the email we've received from those visiting our site.

The Bad

Many people disagree with us about Grandpa Joe being evil. Some of them are even able to express their opinions in a relatively sane manner.

From: Even Better Oompa than YOU (email witheld)
Date: January 12, 2005 9:22:13 pm
Do you need a loan so you can see the doctor to have your chair pried off your fat, overweight ass after sitting in front of the computer making up this medicore sh*t?

Response From: Oompa
Date: January 12, 2005 9:22:13 pm
The good news for you is that since we're not ratbag industrial spy bastards, making a loan to us wouldn't be a bad thing. Why do you believe our buttocks is both fat and overweight? More importantly, what impact would the size of our buttocks have on the legitimacy of our observations, all of which are backed up by events in the book and/or movie.

From: Justin (email witheld)
Date: July 17, 2005 3:03:34 pm
On the "Further Studies" page, you say you recieve a "portion of the proceeds". You don't, however, state how much, where it is going to and for what evil purpose. It would be remiss for you not to fund charities and organizations of the types of abuse and related acts of dishonesty, that you report here. Shame on you. Shame on ALL OF YOU! All you little Oompa-loompa loonies!

Response From: Oompa
Date: July 17, 2005 3:03:34 pm
I am not sure I understand your logic. You seem to feel that we should be donating any pittance this site happens to bring in to some sort of charity. I can only assume poor writing skills led you to say the money should be sent to promote the kinds of abuse we have recounted here.
In any event, on the off chance we ever do make a buck on this site, you can count on us to use it wisely.

The Good

Luckily, there are other people in the world who agree with us about the evil-nature of Grandpa Joe.

From: Gregor (email witheld)
Date: November 2, 2004 8:21:00 pm
Will you have my children?

Response From: Oompa
Date: November 5, 2004 1:16:00 am
That depends. Are they potty trained? Do any of them come equipped with proper trust funds?

From: S.M. Oakes (email witheld)
Date: November 4, 2004 5:52:00 pm
1. As you know, there are a number of differences between the book and movie. As the book was written first, and the movie loosely based on it, wouldn't it contain the only real information? Many things in the movie were added in or changed (the mysterious disappearance of Charlie's father, for instance).
2. A much bigger question for me was why Charlie ONLY took Grandpa Joe to the factory. in the book the invitation clearly states that he can bring two adults, and the other children do. Any thoughts?

Response From: Oompa
Date: November 5, 2004 1:23:00 am
While we agree that the book is the source, we would be remiss in ignoring the movie. First, the movie is better-known than the book, making it more accessible to the average reader. Second, the screenplay was approved by Dahl, so it can be considered authoratative.
As for the lack of a second adult, it seems clear that Grandpa Joe would like to isolate Charlie so he can better ply his influence on him. The cover story (on pp 51-53) is that Mrs. Bucket has to take care of the other grandparents. Mr. Bucket's reason for not going is more illuminating - he believe Grandpa Joe knows more about the factory and the tour than he does and would thus be a better chaperone.

From: Hannah (email witheld)
Date: November 3, 2004 4:19:00 pm
Wow, great site! For once I actually read an entire site, without was that damn funny! I can only hope that someday I can become as great a cynic and sarcastic dick (or in my case..bitch) as you. Thanks for the inspiration.

Response From: Oompa
Date: November 5, 2004 1:18:00 am
While we appreciate your enthusiasm, we think you may have missed the point. Although there are some humourus quotes on the site, it is our intention to educate and inform. We hope that someday you can attain the lofty goals to which you aspire.

From: Justin (email witheld)
Date: November 12, 2004 11:43:40 am
Hello, Wanted to say that I love the page. Mucho fun-o was had reading it and am glad that someone had the guts to expose the truth. It is in this vein that I wanted to mention that on the knowledgable page, there are two typos ("noes" in the third quote and "exampination" in the analysis). I don't mention this in order to sound like some anal bastard, but just wanted this important site to be as perfect as possible, as to not dissuade others from recognizing the importance of your message.

Response From: Oompa
Date: November 13, 2004 4:16:57 pm
Thanks for the kind words Justin. We've corrected the errors in question. We never object to receiving suggestions for the improvement of our work.

From: Paddy (email witheld)
Date: November 12, 2004 5:34:08 am
You have mentioned on your website that Grandpa Joe is an evil and nefarious man, and that possibly he is employed by Al Qaeda. It strikes me that it is far more likely he is employed by George Bush and his cronies - have you uncovered any evidence for this?

Response From: Oompa
Date: November 13, 2004 4:20:46 pm
I think it is safe to say, based on their apparent output, that the US Intelligence is not employing any agents with Grandpa Joe's skill.

From: Mitzi (email witheld)
Date: January 12, 2005 9:20:47 pm
If you look hard enough at any charachter, you are going to find flaws. I don't care what you say about Grandpa Joe, it's still one of my favorite all time movies!! For goodness sake Veruca is a BRAT!!!

Response From: Oompa
Date: January 12, 2005 9:20:47 pm
We have never denied there might be other characters in the book and movie who had flaws. We simply sought to point out that Grandpa Joe, despite his beloved status, was one of the most flawed.

From: Chantelle (email witheld)
Date: June 13, 2005 9:27:29 pm
Hi - I love the site, and I do agree with much of it (plus I get a laugh, which I know you HAD to have been thinking of.) However, I don't agree with something that you have posted and I would just like to pose my argument. When you say that Grandpa Joe is ill-mannered because of his bathing habits, I believe that statement is made without regard to other factors. We all know that Grandpa Joe and the whole family was very poor, and that Grandpa Joe hadn't been out of bed for quite some time due to other conditions. I suppose if there is a scene (I can't remember, it's been so long) where someone asks him to take a bath and he refuses (because of truly not wanting a bath), then you should post that, but if not, Grandpa Joe clearly has not bathed simply because of his economic and physical condition prior to going to the factory. I'm just trying to make sure that nothing gets twisted around! But great job with what I've read so far.

Response From: Oompa
Date: June 18, 2005 9:27:29 pm
If being subjected to the hsaw aknow while fully clothed is the finest bath you've had in twenty years, I think it's safe to say that bathing is not a priority in your life. I agree that bathing might have been a more difficult task for Grandpa Joe than for many of us, but twenty years seems a long while without a proper bath, regardless of your socio-economic conditions.

The Ugly

There's really no better argument against a well-documented idea than a threat against the creator of the idea.

From: Cheesemonger (email witheld)
Date: November 13, 2004 4:24:45 pm
And your choice of this putrid mustard colour is far more eccentric than your theories about Grandpa Joe.
No excuse for it.

Response From: Oompa
Date: November 13, 2004 4:24:45 pm
Glad to hear you find our color choices more unusual than our theories about Grandpa Joe. It's good to know that even with our bad design choices, you were able to grasp the core message. Thanks for writing.

This page last modified on 2023-02-26
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